June 2013
I started saying shit like “u” “pls” and “rly” ironically but I can’t stop now
Think about a horse sitting down like a dog and tell me that isn’t really funny
no need to imagine
I AM SO HAPPY
in 2 seconds you’ll be singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” in your head
I can hear my brother have sex with his girlfriend next door and there is just a lot of bed creaking and I just heard her say ‘Are you even trying?’ and I laughed so hard my brother came into the room to tell me to fuck off
The year is 2030. A family is sitting round a dinner table.
- Child: Can you pass the salt?
- Mother: *glares*
- Mother: Now, you know that's not polite. Ask nicely.
- Child: *sighs*
- Child: Swiggity swalt, pass me the salt.
- Mother: Very good.
if i go to hell i’m gonna torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or if it’s just me
i only reblog organic text posts
dont even talk to me unless u have this hairstyle
why is six afraid of seven?
because seven is a registered six offender
i am legit in tears over this joke
*dad voice* son, we need to talk about your url….
yeah, we do :(
im waiting for the day when people freak out when i follow them
OH GOD ITS FOLLOWING ME!!!!
EW! EW!GO AWAY!!
dont do that
oh what a nice pack of tic tacs that should last me a good thirty seconds
why did the scarecrow get an award?
because he was outstanding in his field
